Revisited
Two years, eleven months and fourteen days.
And yet, it feels like yesterday.
Sitting in D#2007 on that dusty blue chair, a pile of dirty clothes balanced precariously on its back, my suitcase left at the door with a promise to be unpacked, the Ahmedabad dust layered on everything like a lace sheet, my thoughts and my heart racing as word after word flowed.
I played poker that night. Cards held close to my chest, I stared at Fate, looking for a sign. The slightest flinch or the twitching of the eye lids; anything to let me know how the cards stacked up against me. But I saw in her eyes the icy blankness of the greatest card player the world has ever known. And on her lips the seductive half-smile that had led millions to their doom. And thousands to glory.
I had faced the situation a million times before. Always to totter at the edge, and then fold.
And in that moment of trepidation, when years of playing it safe screamed for me to fold, something happened. I watched almost as a different person as my hands enveloped my pile of chips and with one last longing caress, pushed them forward. From the depths of nothingness, I heard my voice say the words.
"All in."
I looked up at Fate again. She looked back at me, curious. Her eyes twinkled for just a second.
And then she smiled.
Two years, eleven months and fourteen days.
But why re-visit this moment in time now?
Because Fate once again sits across the table. The half-smile yet again out in force. The hands and the eyes as steady as ever.
But they are met this time with nerves as icy. I put my hands again around the pile of chips. A half-smile on my lips to match her own, I push the chips forward towards her. The voice this time betrays none of the fear it did in the past. Our eyes meet.
"All In."
She smiles and lays down her cards. My eyes never leave hers. Her cards are meaningless. Because I have learned that when you go all in against fate, you always win. Even when you lose.
I smile.
Fate is a wonderful mistress, warm and giving. But she's a terrible master.
